What is the meaning of your house in your mind?
Is that just a building where you live? Or is that a place where your family is? Or how important your house is to you?
It began when I knew that:
I will move to a new house in a short time. Why? No need to be explained. It’s a long story. It will take a very long time and too complicated and a very private thing.
The fact that I will move in a very short time made me sick. Not in the real meaning. After the very first time my family decided to move, I kept thinking. Does anyone have the same feeling? What the other people think about their house? For me, it’s my house (the building), my home (the deep feeling), part of my family, and many pieces of my life. I learned how to stand, how to run, how to bike there. I’ve lived there for more than 17 years. From my house I went to school and learned how to read, how to write. It’s one of the places where I depend on. The place, when I had a very bad day outside there I still have some spirit and thought there is a house, a home where I would go. The place, when I had a bad day and feeling so sad and even had a problem with my family, I could just go to my bathroom and cry.
Some people may think that it’s ok for them to move. At the first, I thought it’s not so bad because the new house is not so bad (I’ve known that house since I was born because that’s my grandpa’s house). But when I’m already here (in my new house) and seeing my home there, empty. It’s a heartbreaking thing.
I just don’t care if the house where I will move is bigger or smaller. It’s not about whether it will be better or worse. My old house is priceless. I had lived there for seventeen years. It’s full of memories.
Some people may say it’s sad or understand. But no one will really understand this unless they really have got through this. Finally, it just depends on you about what’s your feeling. Maybe we have different thought and feeling about our own house, but I just want to describe that it’s so heartbreaking to fell this especially if you’ve already lived there for more than 17 years and you’ve already have the connection with your house as if it lives and has its soul.